Is it just me or...

does anyone else constantly think that Arnold Schwarzenegger is a cold, emotionless, devoid robot due to the fact that the first time you saw him he was the Terminator in "Terminator" and "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" (in which he asks young John Conner "Why do you cry?") and now that is forever burned indelibly in your brain, so you can never, ever think of him as anything else no matter how hard you try??


...what?... I can't help it. 


Man, "Terminator 2: Judgment Day" was so amazing.

More

Well, I've come to the conclusion that my family must think that I am only pretending to be a lawyer. I must have some other job that I do to make money so we aren't homeless and the job I do is not important or relevant to any real legal work. 


I have reached this conclusion based on two events. They are actually semi-humorous, in a way, since they are just so strange. The first involved a conversation with my father, which went something like this:

Dad: Well, your cousin just got arrested on felony charges. He's got like aggravated robbery or something. 


Me: Is he in jail then or did he bail out?


Dad: I think he has his hearing today for the bail. These are pretty serious charges, right?


Me: Well, yeah...generally felony agg robbery is pretty serious. 


Dad: So he should have a lawyer?


Me: Yeah, that's a good idea. If he has his bail hearing today, they should give him an application for a public defender, so he can apply for one if he's not working. 


Dad: Well, if they are really serious charges, do you think he should get a public defender or should he hire a real attorney? (emphasis added by me)


Me: Dad! I am a real attorney. Public defenders are real attorneys. 


Dad: No, no, I know that--I just mean--you know what I mean!


Me: No, Dad, I don't. I'm just as much of an attorney as someone whose clients pay them. They only give out one type of bar exam and one type of bar admission. 


Dad: Yeah..ok, you're right. Sorry. 




Ouch...my own dad used the "real attorney" thing on me...sigh...


Event two occurred just recently, when a close family member was arrested for a DWI. Misdemeanor DWIs are kind of my bread and butter, since they make up about 40% of my caseload.  For those of you who have not been arrested in MN for a DWI or haven't practiced law in MN, I'll briefly explain that when someone gets arrested for a DWI, they get taken down to the police station and the cops read them the MN Implied Consent Advisory, which says, in a nutshell, that the cops think you've been drinking before driving and that they want you to take a test to determine how drunk you are. They tell you that refusal to take the test is a crime and that you have the right to contact an attorney to help you decide whether you want to take the test or not and the cops will give you time to contact an attorney if you want it. 


So, close family member gets picked up for a DWI.  His wife lets me know right away, since he called her from the squad car. So, I anticipate a phone call, since he'll get a chance to call an attorney and he knows what I do for a living. But, no phone call. Nothing. So I thought, well maybe he called someone else in the phone book if he couldn't remember my number. Nope. He just didn't call anyone. Now, he knows I can't represent him in court (my full time PD position doesn't allow for that) but he also knows that he could call me for some general idea about what he can expect. 


I can't help but wonder what it is my family thinks I do. Because clearly, they do not think that I am a real attorney who assists people on a daily basis with their DWI cases and other criminal matters. 


Man, even when I make it to my goals in life, I still can't convince anyone to believe me that I actually did it. Dang... 

Five years. And some other stuff.

This blog has been around for five years this month. Five years...what amazes me is that I've had enough to prattle on about for five years. Geez. Although the fact that this has been ongoing for five years isn't the sole topic for today, I did feel that it was worth mentioning and giving a little "heeeeeyy!" to this little pink blog o' mine. 


The Twins traded my favorite player, Carlos Gomez. Now the Twins are dead to me. Jerks. Watching Go-Go Gomez was like 80% of why I even cared to watch, especially when they'd play Fatty McSlowass Delmon Young instead. He's such a tool. I hate him. And now he's going to be playing every day. Puh-leeeeze. 


Didn't go to trial this last week. They decided to plead guilty at the last moment. Sigh...wish they would have decided that earlier so I didn't sit there and do all that trial prep. Whatever. 


I had/have more to say, but I'm really tired and sort of have a migraine, so this is it for now. 

Trial again

It looks like I'm going to be in trial again starting tomorrow. It's been about a month since my last one. This will be number 3 in jury trials if we actually end up in trial. At least I'm getting practice, right? 


I've got 2 scheduled for tomorrow--we'll see if they both actually still want a trial when I get there tomorrow. One is a disorderly conduct and an obstructing legal process. We've got a good argument for self-defense on the disorderly conduct, but there's nothing that I can think of for beating the obstruction charge. Dude walked away from the cops when they asked him to stop and then refused to put his hands behind his back. Can't really explain that away...


The other is a disorderly conduct as well. Not sure that one actually fits the statutory definition of a disorderly conduct, but I was gone for his pretrial (out for my grandfather's funeral) and so the attorney covering for me said we had no pretrial issues and we got set on for the jury trial. I'm planning on making a motion for judgment of acquittal after the state presents their no evidence and hopefully that works. 


And...yeah...that's tomorrow for me! Yay!

Halloween 2009

I'm going as Bret Michaels for Halloween.  I'm also going as Bret Michaels to our annual public defenders' meeting tomorrow. There are prizes for the best costume!

So, here's a picture of former Poison frontman Bret.

And here's my test run of the costume this evening:

Not too bad so far. Not too bad... Now I just need to practice asking people if they want to continue to stay in the house and rock my world ala Rock of Love, Rock of Love II, and Rock of Love Bus.

I'm the shy, anti-social one

I went to church in my new suburban ward today. And then I remembered that large groups of Mormons freak me out. 


Having only gone to a "singles' ward" over the last few years (read: single young adults 18-30), I had forgotten the cacophony of crying children that exists in normal church meetings. It was so loud!


And then I was going to sneak out after the first hour, because I don't know anyone and I am crushingly shy, and sure enough, someone catches me and asks me who I am. Dang it. No being discreet, I guess. 


Then, in the process of giving him my contact information, two more nosy people come over and want to know who I am.  Can't I just be unknown for a bit? I hate things like this...it makes my anxiety skyrocket. 


Then, about two hours ago, I get a phone call. It's someone from church. She wants to meet me, she'd like to know when a good time is that she could come over and visit and get to know me.


Sigh...


I know I should be glad that people are so friendly. But I'm not. I hate friendly when it's bombarding me. I'm too shy for all that. I don't want anyone to come over and visit. I don't want to meet a ton of people. I don't want to stand up and introduce myself and talk about stuff.  I want to slip in the back quietly, leave discreetly, and get to know people gradually, when I decide I want to meet people. 


Instead, I now have to return this woman's phone call or look like a rude jerk and then I'm going to have to "visit" with her and I am going to be very uncomfortable/have raging anxiety issues. 


I just want to be the quiet, unnoticed one until I'm ready to branch out. Blech.

I don't even care how lame it makes me

I bought a Snuggie. 


Shut up! I don't even care that it's just a stupid backwards robe!! Because you know what? It's not just a backwards robe, ok? A) It's way too big to be a robe unless you're like 800 pounds and 2) it's way too long to be a robe unless you're a giant. So stuff it up your butt and stop mocking me.

As you can see, it's extremely sexy and attractive.  Creepy monk-like attire is going to be all the rage soon and I'm going to be at the cutting edge of fashion. 


Besides, as you can see in the first picture of the box, it's pink for breast cancer. So, really, I had to buy it or breast cancer would win. I'm just doing my part. 


I've had it for less than 24 hours and I think I'm in love. I'm going to buy another one for the office. 

Insert job here

Looks like the barely-missed layoffs will actually start coming to life in January. Which is bad news bears for me. 


The plan to save jobs was to lobby the legislature hard to write law allowing the Supreme Court to impose an additional $75 fee on lawyers' yearly registration fees and to create a special Public Defense Account where that money would go so it could be used for public defense only. The legislature passed the law. However, the Supreme Court has not ruled on it. And so, the more time that passes without the fees being imposed, the more of a budget problem we have. Which means people will start getting laid off. Which means that I will get laid off. Because I am still the low-man on the totem pole. 


There's been talk about our district losing 5 attorneys. We've got 18 full time attorneys now. That would put us down to 13. Thirteen full time public defenders to cover 11 counties. 


Well, I'm sure that will work out perfectly. 


In the meantime, I'll be back to applying for jobs, watching daytime TV, and generally being depressed. More so than I was before, because now Hat's laid off too and we'll shortly be homeless after I stop being employed. 


Awesome.